Only you
by E.S. Asher - MCV2
Summary: She knew him for long, and only if he understood what she felt for him... because Lloyd has left... and there is no other for comfort...


**Disclaimer:**Don't own Namco's characters, so no sue. Just borrow to make this fic possible.

**A/N:**From Colette's P.O.V.

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Friend in you**

_I think I knew that this shouldn't have been, but yet... I couldn't help it..._

_I watch you from far away... you seem happy on your own..._

_I wish you would know how I feel..._

_But it looks like that you won't care... or even worse, back off away from me..._

_Are you really happy? Am I really happy? it's not over..._

_You're happy... but I'am not... only if you were here..._

_Although I can't blame you... she looks perfect with you..._

_Even though I wanted you myself..._

_But that won't be like me..._

_Even so... I still look at you... I can't tell you how I feel..._

_Because you have her..._

_I have always looked up to you when Lloyd and I couldn't solve a problem..._

_You took care of those easily..._

_You were always there for us..._

_Your eyes... they are almost the same as mine..._

_Fresh and blue... filled with joy to do whatever we can..._

_Lloyd was different, his thoughts always differ from ours..._

_You were always the smartest person we knew..._

_You were there for both of us when we faced hard times..._

_And we never realized the pain you had..._

_The pain of hiding your true self as a half elf..._

_We promised each other that we would get rid of all evil half-elf desians..._

_Yet, we never knew until that day... that day when we discouvered you were one of them..._

_Lloyd still accepted you..._

_I accepted you... even though my soul was lost during that time..._

_But when I got my soul back..._

_You were already attracted to her..._

_I can't reverse the past..._

_We have reunited both worlds and now I watch you from afar..._

_You seem to be very intrested in her..._

_Ever since the day we saw her entering the church in Meltokio... your eyes were captured..._

_I wish that I could have done something..._

_But I couldn't..._

_I can't control you... and I won't want to..._

_You were always a good friend to talk to..._

_Even if you're a half-elf you are still my friend..._

_You were the only one I could depend on other then Lloyd..._

_But Lloyd is now gone on his exsphere journey... with Sheena..._

_How I wish I have someone special..._

_But you and your sister are traveling around... trying to stop discrimination of half-elf..._

_Your eyes are filled with happiness as you are with her..._

_The same eyes I had when you, me and Lloyd were together in Iselia..._

_You both are gone now..._

_I wish you were with me..._

_Even though it is quite obvious that to you, I am only a friend..._

_But for me, you were someone special... someone that would always be comforting..._

_You still are comforting... but only I didn't recieve that comfort..._

_If only she hadn't come in the way... no, I can't think like this..._

_I wish I had gone with you and your sister..._

_I wanted to stop the descrimination too..._

_But why didn't I?_

_I knew that it won't do me any good..._

_You are commited to her..._

_You would visit Regal's company often so you could see her..._

_I watched you when you were with her..._

_I know you love her... but... is she returning that love?_

_Are you really happy with her?_

_Heck, I still care for you..._

_even though I know it's impossible for you to notice me..._

_Why is it just me?_

_Why do I have to be alone without anyone..._

_Everyone has somebody special with them... except me..._

_Is this my punishment?_

_Do I deserve this?_

_But we already regenerated the worlds..._

_I should be happy..._

_But I am not..._

_You were the only other friend I had besides Lloyd..._

_Sometimes, you would be more important then Lloyd..._

_You were very special to me..._

_But I can't reverse the past..._

_You are happy... and I should be happy for you..._

_Yet, this feeling of unfairness..._

_This feeling of being lost..._

_Why can't I shake them off?_

_Will I shake them off?_

_No..._

_I only wished for you..._

_And can't even get anybody..._

_Lloyd drew away from me as we went on this journey..._

_I seeked comfort from you..._

_and you gave it to me..._

_only if you hadn't choose to be with her..._

_I shouldn't think that way about her... but I just can't..._

_because you were my special friend..._

_I can't say how painful this is..._

_not to you_

_not to dad_

_not to anyone... only myself..._

_I just can't help this endless pain..._

_I looked after you..._

_but it was useless..._

_I knew it... but I just couldn't bring myself to believe it..._

_We grew up together with Lloyd..._

_I always thought of you as a older brother... even though on the outside I was older..._

_You were the only one in my life that helped me with my cooking... even though I couldn't do it.._

_We had so much fun in the old days..._

_You were so kind to cook for me and Lloyd at times..._

_You had the same eyes as mine..._

_the eyes that are filled with joy to help everyone..._

_but you could have told me about your true self..._

_I know it was hard... but if you came to me..._

_I would offer comfort as you have given to me..._

_but it's not possible... by the time everyone knew about you and your sister being hale-elf.._

_you already caught by her..._

_I can't stop my thoughts..._

_You took a huge part in my life..._

_And Lloyd had the other half..._

_I thought you wouldn't leave me when Lloyd's eyes were glued to Sheena..._

_But in the end... I couldn't do anything..._

_Why! Just why did I have to lose my soul at that time?_

_If I didn't we wouldn't have gone through all this!_

_Lloyd won't have swayed away from us..._

_but it had to turn out like this..._

_I wish there was a way to tell you all this..._

_but it won't matter..._

_you have her..._

_you won't need me either..._

_Because you didn't leave me like Lloyd did..._

_I believed in you..._

_Because you cared for me when Lloyd turned me down..._

_So close! I was so close to be sure you wouldn't leave me..._

_Our eyes were the same..._

_Your eyes perserve the happiness..._

_But mine... mine are drenched with sadness and grief..._

_Even when I was a puppet..._

_It hurt to see you drift away..._

_I reached out my hands..._

_but my body won't do anything at that time..._

_I have nobody to flow this sadness to..._

_You were the only one..._

_But with these thoughts..._

_I can only keep to myself..._

_Is life suppose to be painful like this?_

_I didn't ask for this!_

_I have never felt such pain..._

_Being left behind was bad enough..._

_but why did I live to go through this?_

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_Why must I go through this?_

_Is there no one out there that cares?_

_Am I the only one?_

_Why can't I have my happy self again?_

_the side of me that everyone admired..._

_the side that was true of me..._

_I tried so hard to cheer everyone up..._

_and this is the thanks I get?_

_being left behind... all lonely..._

_If only I was stronger..._

_I could escape from the Cruxis' crytal's grasp and be myself sooner..._

_then I wouldn't have to see you go..._

_I really wished you were here with me..._

_I remember the old days..._

_where when I was sad, and Lloyd wasn't in the villiage..._

_you'd come for me..._

_You would reach out your hand to me and pick me back up..._

_And you'd be by my side to cheer me up..._

_Or maybe during the journey of regeneration in Slyvarant..._

_you were always worried for me when I fell after each seal..._

_You completely understood that since the fire seal, I was losing my humanity..._

_You noticed that before your sister... that's not all..._

_You knew I was merely meant to be a sacrifice..._

_It was big grief for you... yet, you kept my promise..._

_and even tried to get Lloyd to understand at the tower of salvation..._

_That is one of the many reasons you are so special to me..._

_You were smart enough to figure everything out from just seeing me once..._

_You knew all along... and you kept your word..._

_Lloyd couldn't keep the secret I told him..._

_He blurted it out since it was too much to hold on to..._

_It was that time in the desian human ranch..._

_You kept to your word and never let it leak through your mouth..._

_Not even after escaping from the renegade base..._

_Not even now..._

_The most comforting moment was the night before we went to the tower of salvation..._

_I wrote how it terible it would be... to leave you and everyone..._

_Yet... you still comforted me..._

_I can be sure that I would come out alive at the regeneration ritual..._

_I trusted you with everything..._

_I know you won't say anything and keep your word to it..._

_even your sister blurted out that I was a sacrifice at the tower of salvation..._

_But what difference does any of this make!_

_I am still here, all alone..._

_with out anybody..._

_without you..._

_If I had another chance..._

_I would be sure to try harder..._

_I failed..._

_I am nothing more then just a "friend" to all of you..._

_while you and everyone else may be happy, I am sad... on the inside..._

_I can never have you..._

_You are now with her..._

_I won't do anything to make you look bad..._

_But yet... if I don't..._

_I will always have this hatred burning inside me..._

_I know it's not healthy to keep it inside like this..._

_But since it's become like this..._

_I have no choice..._

_I don't even have a shoulder to cry on..._

_Granted that I haven't cried since birth..._

_But this hatred and sadness..._

_is just too much..._

_it's not like a pain that will go away from healing arts of gels..._

_It's eternal pain... living on this planet... for the rest of my life..._

_No one will know how this pain feels..._

_This is more then just pain..._

_I tried to be happy for you... for Lloyd..._

_but my heart is filled with discomfort..._

_What should I do?_

_Should I tell someone?_

_No... the only one that I could trust was you..._

_and you are gone..._

_I wished you hadn't..._

_You were my best friend... no something more..._

_Everything I did with you was fun..._

_I couldn't forget those times..._

_Now they are as good as gone..._

_I still look to see that you are a great person, but I can't tell you how I really feel..._

_I am so lost..._

_I wish you would come and find me..._

_but it's no use..._

_What I have in mind isn't what you think..._

_I can feel myself disconnecting from you..._

_I reach out with my hands... hoping you would catch it and pull me back up..._

_But you aren't there..._

_It's not the same anymore..._

_You see me as a friend... and only a friend..._

_But I see you a different way..._

_As each day passes... I feel weaker..._

_I can't stop my thoughts on you..._

_You are too close to let go..._

_but it's hopeless..._

_I am hopeless..._

_Only if you notice me..._

_You're the only person that can help me..._

_I know you won't turn away from what you have right now..._

_But you're still my best friend... because..._

_I... Love you..._


End file.
